Super Powers

May 11, 2023

When I was four, I thought that my mother had super powers. The family story goes like this:

4-year-old Debbie*: "Mommy, do you know what I'm thinking?"
Mom: "No."
Debbie: "GOOD!"

The story ends there, but I wish it included what was in my head at the time, the thing I was glad my mother didn't know. Apparently, I never told.

When I became a parent 26 years later, I once again convinced myself that mothers—other mothers, that is, not me—had super powers. Boy, SHE has it together in a way I don't, I told myself when I'd see a mom I thought was more relaxed, or more organized, or who hauled her kids to more enriching activities than I did. There is, of course, a place in our lives for being impressed and inspired by others, but we often put our self-esteem at the mercy of others' accomplishments. As much as we reassure our kids that life is not a competition, we sometimes drown in our own comparisons to others. I know I did, for a while.

Say what you will about the artistic merit of superhero movies, but their themes often remind us of an important lesson for an authentic life: It's not a race, it's a climb. Each of us is on our own steep path with its own challenges. Nothing is a competition, at least not the stuff that matters. Remember that this Mother's Day, when you see all the other mothers on social media with their flowers and chocolate and breakfast in bed. You're your own Captain Marvel.

—Deb

*Yes, I was called "Debbie" at the time. Do not try it now.