The M&Ms Game

January 16, 2025

Every family has its little code phrases—words that make no sense to outsiders but hold a world of meaning at home. One of ours is “I need some M&Ms.”

I hate doing my taxes... and by “doing,” I mean collecting documents and handing them to my accountant. That’s it. Easy, right? But every year, this simple task feels like climbing a mountain. So years ago, when my kids were small, I found a way to make it bearable: I poured out a bowl of M&Ms and enlisted their help. For every document I found and added to the “for Dan” pile, a child would hand me an M&M like a tiny victory trophy. This was gamifying a tedious task before “gamifying” was a thing.

Over time, “I need some M&Ms” became shorthand in our family for “I need help to stay focused and get this done.” It wasn’t just about making my life easier—it showed my kids that even adults struggle with tasks that can feel impossible, but aren't. And it taught them the secret to overcoming those struggles: leaning cheerfully on someone you love. This little ritual also carried a bigger lesson: Asking for help isn’t something to be ashamed of, it’s part of how things get done. Whether it’s taxes or any other overwhelming task, the solution is often enlisting a trusted partner simply to sit beside you and keep you on track.

Life throws enough obstacles our way without adding the burden of shame for needing support. Sometimes, all it takes is a little sweetness.

—Deb